I watched the movie Julie/Julia and I had to chuckle a little bit when Julia Childs mentions that she likes shopping for food in Paris better than dress shopping, simply because there's no store that carries her size anyway.
I'm not ridiculously obese, by any means, but I'm a tall girl with an overly ample chest size and about average size in the waist and hips. For me, clothes shopping can often be ridiculously frustrating. I love dresses, but can't find many that will accommodate my large breasts, and often times, I'm pretty much stuck to a v-neck to have it look remotely flattering.
I've only wanted a breast reduction since these things grew in, when I was about 16. They've served me well, and served my babies well, but now, they're fairly obsolete in the usage department.
As I crammed on three sports bras this morning to layer for enough "hold", I realized that I'm so tired of always having a sore back & sore shoulders- and I really wish that I could afford the breast reduction.
Plastic Surgery?
I'm really not the type of girl who likes needles, much less the thought of being sliced open, but in the past few years, I've tried to keep my eyes open for opportunities to sign up for TV shows or something that would allow me to get this surgery done without being financially in the hole. I've had insurance look at it before, and of course, they denied it- I would have had a substantial co-pay that I wouldn't be able to afford.
So maybe this is the year. After I lose the weight in my 50 day challenge, I think it's time to talk to someone about a marketing opportunity. I have enough tools in my own toolbox to make a deal with a plastic surgery office. For one, I'm extremely experienced in SEO - so I could always offer some of my services in exchange for some of theirs. I've been a marketing girl for long enough that I would and could offer myself up on the marketing table as well, in return for being placed upon the surgery table.
Surely there's an experienced doctor out there who needs website work or a marketing plan that goes beyond the typical "get yourself bathing suit ready" campaign.
Vanity
I'm not even ashamed to admit it. I like to look good. But what's so frustrating, was that I spent an entire hour and a half on Modcloth.com looking at really adorable dresses and I knew that the majority of those, I wouldn't be able to fit in, thanks to the twins. I have this fascination with all things 1940s, but a lot of the necklines that cut across the collarbone aren't flattering to a chesty woman.
I'm not saying I would expect to NOT have boobs, I would probably enjoy being a full C or even D cup. At the moment, I'm topping out at the DDD/F area. If some were to measure, I'm scared I might even meet up with Mama G.
I guess the next thing is to just keep working out and talk to people and see if this can be a reality rather than a dream. I'm so tired of carrying these girls around. Beyond the obvious weight of them, once I lose weight, it garners me even more of the attention I don't wish to seek. With the weight on, I still get it, but once I'm in shape again, it's worse- which is another reason I think I have allowed myself to put on the weight- I can stop some of the crass comments or men hitting on me. A subconscious sabotage to my own health for reasons of not being pursued so directly.
That sounds lame, but it's really something worth thinking about. It's not the only reason, but it sure is one of them.
Well, off to the gym. The treadmill and I are going to finally meet each other and I'm off to listen to Pandora while walking along- the snow has subsided enough that I can get out of my house.
At tax time, I may very well invest in a treadmill of my own again. I lost the last one I had in a storage unit fire.
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