Reprioritizing.

I haven't picked up a paintbrush and touched it to a piece of canvas in almost a year. That's so sad.

I have a huge gallery wrapped piece of canvas just waiting for me to go to town on it. I'm going to be concentrating more on creating my art rather than meeting new people.

I've come to a conclusion, based on three conversations I had this weekend, from three completely different sources.

Here is what I've decided:
1. It's time to focus on what I really want in life, and stop helping others all the time. I have this tendency to help others more than myself. I've got to get over that. I think my friend Stephen said it best: "Audrey, you and I have always helped everyone else, only to get shit on when they make it".
Many of my pieces of artwork are currently sitting in either a storage unit or my friend Renee's salon on Music Row. I gave her one, but the rest are supposed to be offered for sale (you know, little label next to them saying they are for sale)... and that hasn't happened yet...

I love helping people, so that part will be hard to curb, but it's time that I started helping myself and my kids first.

2. It's time to get focused. I just have to remember that it's me running this show. I can't expect anyone else to help me out. I'm up in PA with my kids and it's time for me to get this divorce finalized so I can really move on with my life. With my family gone, it's easy to get lonely and want to spend time with other people after the kids go to bed, but even when I do that, all that happens is I still end up lonely with a lighter wallet. It's probably best if I just retreat to the artistic hermit side of my personality instead of looking for people to hang out with (as much fun as that sometimes is!).

3. Dollar Dollar Bill Y'All. Money. The root of all evil, yet also the most necessary thing for providing the ability to feed your family. Yeah, I guess it's time that I really started concentrating more on bringing more dollars in, and having less go out. As much fun as going out with everyone is, I have larger goals in life than beer and a social life.

Of course, I probably will end up out at some point, but I'm shifting gears. The only thing that results from me going out is usually a lighter wallet and a groggy morning. I'd rather have a few friends come over and watch movies with me or I'll concentrate on making up batches of soap or painting something. After all, I can sell soap or a painting... I can't sell a groggy morning or a crazy night out.

Time for me to be a homebody for a while.