i was wrong

I believed in love again
I was wrong.
I believed I wouldn't hurt
I was wrong.
I was approached, then told how awful I was
In your words, from her mouth.
You called me names.
I was wrong for ever putting my faith in you.
I was wrong for ever loving you
I was wrong for ever trusting you.

I believed in love again.
I was wrong.

random poetry

i like the way you look at me

you said

one sleepy Sunday morning

while we still laid in bed

A moment of peace in

a crazy life

souls connecting through

two pairs of eyes

i can't get you out of

my head

you've broken through

my steel resolve

i like the way you look at me too.

Art Stuff.

Here's some recent artwork. Figured I would post some of the watercolors here. I love abstracts normally, or some kind of abstract thought when painting. These recent ones seem to have a little bit more "form" to them, i.e. clouds, hills, flowers...

Anyway, if you'd like to keep up on my artwork, I have my FACEBOOK page that you can click "Like" and follow along with my more random thoughts and more frequent pieces of artwork posted. Plus sometimes things in the works and paintings that are available and searching for a home.

Yes, that page is like a Humane Society for my artwork. We'll find it a home together, ok?

I'm a mess. Seriously. A complete and total, beautiful mess. :)

There's beauty in chaos... like the wind sweeping across the fields right before a thunderstorm, as the clouds gather and the sky goes dark.

I'm the same way. I see beauty in the smallest of things. The silver lining in the clouds in the darkest moments of the storm. The ant that feverishly drags a piece of a nut that fell from my ice cream cone back to its anthill. The way the sky, cornfields and clouds all swirl together and are touched by the golden rays of the sun.

Yes, beauty in moments that most other people pass by. Nature is a mess, if you really look at it. One big, beautiful mess. It's time we celebrated our chaotic selves.

Having a tough day...

I'm just going to copy and paste what I sent to a friend... because it's worth it to save and remember... Here's the scenario... I've been positive, loving, open... and somehow opened up a big old bag of feelings that I had vacuum sealed and stored away... and now I'm dealing with them, healing them, but having one of those tough days. It takes energy to heal yourself... and I'm already about sapped.

So I was having this conversation about how open I tend to be with a girlfriend of mine, and how I sometimes am concerned that I might get hurt one too many times... is that possible? Here's what I wrote.
____________________


I worry all the time that I'm going to become hard-hearted one of these days... I just give love... and give love... and give love... in the most innocent sense of being. I view myself as a loving being, trying to put as much good into the world as I can while I'm here... and whenever I'm open to it for a long while, I seem to end up with a scar on my heart from someone or something... it's like a rose with thorns. I end up giving roses and bouquets- then get scratched to hell by the thorns.

I should also add that I'm tired of being the only one to kiss my boo-boos away. One day, I hope to have someone in my life that will encourage me to shine my little love light and keep passing out the roses, but keep me safe from the thorns - and if I were to ever get scratched up, to fix me up with a band-aid and a kiss. Hey, a girl can dream, right?
___________________________

Of course a girl can dream. And wish. And hope. And believe. I'm human though, and sometimes a little impatient. On days when I feel badly, all I want are a set of safe, strong, loving arms to hug me and hold me and tell me it will all be okay. Unfortunately, I don't have that.
So I hug myself, say a prayer, try to deal with my feelings and somehow, push forward.

Old Japanese Proverb: Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight.

God, do I ever try to live by that one!!!!

In the mean time, I will be painting something, writing more, or doing something creative so that I can cleanse the hurt right out of me and focus on the positive things in my life, and the positive things that are coming my way. Clearin' the cobwebs, emptying that closet of regrets and disappointments, and making room for a whole lotta brand new dancin' shoes.

Random Thoughts on Life and Love...

Be true to yourself. Love openly. Make your little light shine like the Batman symbol out into the night. Look inside yourself to see the beauty that you hold inside. Love yourself first, or else you'll never truly be able to find real love. Realize that you are beautiful, just as you are. Be happy.

Remember the time when you were young, before you cared about what other people thought. Get back to that person. BEING is enough. There is no such thing as "normal". That would be boring. UNIQUENESS counts. Add your own special ingredient to the world. Be fearless. Go for it and SMILE.

Lyrics worth posting.... the theme of my life at the moment...

First, an old one by Lonestar - "Softly"... I just love the words in this...

I remember that kiss in a cold world, oh girl
Sunlight fell from your lips, tenderly you shattered me
Somehow you touched me like no one else
Slipped into my soul like a prayer

Baby, with the sweetest kiss
You came along and stole my breath
Tore down my defenses with a whisper
Oh you showed me how love can be
You broke through to my heart
Softly, baby softly

You're like God in this world, fragile, beautiful
There's so much trust in your eyes, they make me remember blue
Skies and sunshine
I wanna be what you see in me
I wanna love you the way you love me

Baby, with the sweetest kiss
You came along and stole my breath
Tear down my defenses with a whisper
Oh you show me how love can be
You break through to my heart
Softly

I don't wanna be that strong if it means being alone
I wanna stay with you where I belong
And let you show me just how good love can be
You break through to my heart
Softly, baby softly
Softly, baby softly

---------------

And LeeAnn Womack "I found it in you"... Just so pretty...These words are amazing.

Everybody needs a reason to believe
Something to keep 'em going
To set their soul on fire
And make 'em feel alive
It's their inspiration

Chorus:
Some find it in living off the land
Some find it in working for the man
Some find it with a bottle in their hand
That's what gets 'em through
Some find it in a shiny limousine
Some find it in the magazines they read
Some find happiness is out of reach
No matter what they do
Baby, that's not me
I found it in you

I always wondered when
My search was gonna end
And I'd find what I'd been missin'
Now everything you are
It goes right to my heart
And it feeds this passion

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:
You're my journey's end
My solid ground
You're what I could never live without

Repeat Chorus

I found it in you