Confusion and missed connections/shitty timing.

I've had feelings all over the map.

One of my friends that I've known on a purely friendship and lighthearted level, who also has a girlfriend, confessed having feelings for me for the past five years last night. He leaned in to hug me, and kissed me instead. With this person, I felt the same way. There was a physical attraction that neither of us did anything about.

He's just my type, physically. The kind I usually find myself attracted to. Tall, dark, handsome.
He's creative, a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll.
He's my age, but he's not the type to run around. He's had a few girlfriends since I've known him, but his main lover has been the music itself.
For birthdays of mine that have required that I needed someone to rescue me, he's stepped up to the plate and always been my knight in shining armor.
In all the years I've known him, he's never treated me with anything but respect and honor.
He gave me a New Year's kiss in 2007 - an innocent peck on the mouth, when I realized that it was my first New Years in a long time without anyone to kiss.
He's got his shit together and comes from a family that has their shit together. I like his dad and know him well.


We still haven't. When I asked about his intentions, he was honest and told me he had none but that he just was tired of keeping it a secret from me. I could understand that.

I am emotionally involved with someone, but this kiss threw my little world into a complete tailspin.

It was that good.

Here I am, still pondering the entire sequence of events ... and I think it will continue to be that way for at least another couple nights.

Damn it, my timing always seems to off.